Stress reduction through great relationship building is critical to your health and wellness in life and in business. When I was a rookie sales representative, a sales associate I greatly respected told me there were two keys to a successful sales career:
“You have to be lovable and you have to give a damn.”
My friend Patrick meant that customers want to do business with salespeople who are likeable and who care about them. One result for him was that his customers were also his friends. And because of his approach, the second result was the success he enjoyed as a top salesperson for the company!
His words are the greatest description of a customer-focused selling approach I’ve ever heard. Moreover, those words of wisdom apply equally well to achieving great relationships with everyone you know and meet outside the business world!
You must represent yourself as a sincere and honest person. Those are lovable attributes. You must dedicate yourself to the care of others. That’s the give a damn part of Patrick’s maxim. Those two components can be expressed in this equation:
1 Great Relationship = 1 part Loveable + 1 part Give a Damn
Imagine if you always looked at your relationships in this way. Wouldn’t you agree they would be stronger and more numerous—and a lot less stressful?
I spoke with thousands of people during my sales career. Nothing meant more to me than knowing my customers (many of whom I considered friends) genuinely enjoyed meeting with me to discuss their business needs, talk about our families and share life experiences. It was very important to act professionally but it was equally important to express my inner self (my inner personality), and not just a “persona”.
When people feign respectfulness, sincerity and interest, they’re operating with an ulterior motive—their own best interests. Others eventually see right through them and those relationships are stressed—or altogether broken.
So, how can you achieve stress-reduced relationship building results? Your relationships with others must be steeped in genuine respect, sincerity and interest. Also, your interactions must be commensurate with the personalities and statuses of others. In other words, you cannot successfully build relationships using a cookie-cutter approach when there are so many diverse personalities and statuses in our world.
Adopting the loveable and give a damn approach to relationship building won’t work with everyone you know or meet. But the beauty of trying it is the likelihood of developing wonderful relationships while reducing relationship stress. Achieving those goals will certainly be worth your efforts!